Heyo everybody! I suppose you’re probably even more worried now!

First thing’s first, thank you all so much for your emails. Means a ton to me. Sorry if I didn’t get around to replying to you, I had a lot of emails today haha. But I just want to reiterate a couple things.
One, my testimony is not in danger. Honestly I feel like I’m not getting much help from heaven right now, I’m not recieving many answers, But I dont feel like I’ve been abandoned. I know there is a reason for what I am feeling right now and I trust that there is something to be learned here. Sometimes I wish that I could have a different trial, or just have the knowledge given to me. But that’s just not how things work I’m afraid.
Two, please don’t take that letter as “I’m coming home” It really wasn’t meant to be like that. I just see a lot of missionaries that only write the good things, and honestly I don’t learn from the good things in my life. I want to share with all of you how I am growing out here and this is honestly one of the best learning experiences I have had. 
Three, I am fighting my hardest to stay out here but honestly things are getting worse. I am really not sleeping and that’s awful. I really appreciate your prayers so much and Im not asking for prayers, but if you want to pray for me thats what you should be praying for haha.
Anyway! Time for some good news! This week we’ve got our first baptism in this area! First baptism in a while in this area actually, they’ve stuck me in one of the least baptizing areas in the mission, but that doesn’t mean anything haha! We can still baptize here no matter what anyone says 😉 But her name is Jazmine, and she is just the sweetest lady I have ever met. She is so kind and her mom is always feeding us a ton of food, even when I was deathly ill to my stomach and I very clearly told her “No, Please, my stomach really really hurts and I don’t think that I should be eating”
That’s another thing I’ve learned about Mexico. They really don’t have a word for “No” thats why we just use the english word, “No” but they really don’t seem to understand that here, because they always ask “Elder Harris, do you want more?” And I always say “No, thank you, I am full” And they always come back with another plate bigger than the last. And because I’m a missionary and it’s very rude to not finish your food, I always do. Honestly the strangest miracle I’ve witnessed here is that I am somehow actually losing weight.
We also have a bunch of other new investigators. We’ve just been getting references like crazy from the ward members. One of our more recents is a small family who recently had their home broken into and desperately needed some peace. We met with them and it was awesome to see the mom gain even just a little bit of peace because she, like me, was just not sleeping and that’s a hard way to live. I was grateful that I could help to bring that peace into her life.
Anyway, I’m out of time here since I spent a ton of time reading your letters! Thank you all so much for that, I don’t really have many pictures this week, but I’ll share what I do have!
Love y’all! 

-Elder Harris

It’s been a while since I sent out an awkward selfie, here y’all go. 

We were walking through town and I encountered the great Mothra. You can’t really tell from this picture, but this thing is as big as my hand. It was crazy.


Honestly y’all wouldnt even believe the rain here. It’s just absolutely nuts. I was in the rain for a total of 5 minutes and I was absolutely soaked. ¡Que bueno!
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Hey there y’all. I suppose youre probably worried about me

This message was originally meant only for my parents, but I feel very strongly that I have learned important lessons that I want to share with everybody. Entonces…..
Let’s get personal.
I suppose it’s time that I briefly tell my story. Before the MTC, I kind of felt super depressed. I’m sure some of you could probably tell by my behavior. It was horrible. Honestly I didn’t want to leave my room for anything or anybody. I loved Nicole, but I honestly didn’t want to leave my room to hang out with her some nights. I loved my friends, but I felt the same way. It was absolutely horrible. I wasn’t sleeping well, so I was staying up until ungodly hours in an effort to wear myself out and sleep until 2 PM. In hindsight that probably made things worse.
But anyway. I was so worried that I was going to be 2 nights into the MTC and not sleep at all. i was so worried that I was going to start off my mission and already not be able to do anything because I was depressed and couldn’t sleep.
But jeez. I was so blessed. I was SO BLESSED. In the MTC.You wouldn’t believe it. I’ve never been happier in my life. Those 6 weeks literally changed my life. Honestly, I have never had such a strong testimony of the gospel and of the book of mormon and of just about everything until this moment. Right now I can honestly say and testify that I know these things are true and I know the Lord helps us when we need it and blesses us when we try. He is there, He cares about you, He cares about me. He cares about everybody. Honestly I keep sharing this but it is absolutely true. It is a MIRACLE. How much I have learned when it comes to español. Really. No, I’m not fluent. Yes, I make tons of mistakes. But I can communicate. I can understand and I can share complex ideas, yeah it takes me 5 minutes, but usually it takes people half a year.
And you might be thinking “Well jeez Matthais, why isn’t he blessing you with that right now? Why are you struggling so much right now?” and you know, honestly that thought has crossed my mind, but not for any longer than a second because I don’t feel abandoned. I don’t feel completely alone. I know I have someone here who understands and I know that maybe there is a lesson here that either I need to learn, or one of you needs to learn and maybe that’s the reason I felt that I needed to share this. But sincerely, I am struggling so hard right now. I think the feelings of depression are starting to come back, I’m feeling anxiety I’m pretty sure. Pretty sure because I’ve literallly never felt anything like this haha. But it’s this crazy feeling that at any moment, I am literally going to die, and I can’t sit still for more than 15 minutes without feeling like I’m suffocating.
Wow. How horrible right? The mission has absolutely ruined me. I’m anxious, a little depressed, and I lost 15 pounds in 3 weeks (That’s not a joke. I pray that that scale is wrong, but my mission president’s scale says I’m 15 pounds lighter). Thankfully they’re talking about sending me home for medical reasons, right?
No. I’m not thankful for this. This is honestly one of the most horrible things that I have heard this whole week. The moment when my mission president said to me “We don’t want you to be embarrassed if we need to send you home for medical reasons” and I could almost hear my heart break. I love this place. I love the people. I love what I’m doing and I love who I am slowly but surely becoming. Really that’s what I’ve learned the most here in México and in the MTC. It’s how to love. Everything. My situation. No matter what it is. The people, no matter who they are or how much they don’t love me. I love them.

And yet I’m miserable and anxious. If I’m doing everything right, why do I feel this way? The honest answer is I don’t know. I have no idea. But I do. Why isn’t the Lord blessing me like in the MTC? I don’t know. But in reality it doesn’t matter. Come what may, I’m going to try my best. If I am sent home for medical reasons I know that there was a reason for feeling this way. If I manage to push through this and come out on top then I know there was a reason I’m feeling this way. Most of all I want all of you to know that there is a reason I’m feeling this way and I want all of you who already knew my situation to know that and feel the comfort that I feel despite my inner turmoil and confusion. I know that whatever happens happens and I have consigned myself to the will of the Lord. I trust fully in His works and I know that this is all part of his plan for me.
Sorry that I don’t have any crazy stories for this week. We spent a lot of time travelling this week because we had a ton of meetings and I had a couple interviews. But here are some quick bullet points.
-Went to go do the work to get my visa, one of the workers was talking to me in some of the worst english I have ever heard and I had to kindly ask him to speak to me in spanish so that I could understand him
-Finally got to meet all the people who entered the mission at the same time as me. That was fun!
-I had my first confrontation with a missionary for the Jehovah’s witnesses. She really wanted to talk to me in English, but I would only reply to her in Spanish
Anyway, not a ton else! Here are some pictures though! I love you all!
Elder Harris


Our favorite quote, bonus points if you can figured out what it is in english


Gotta look sharp to study hard, amirite?

I have a really interesting story to share about this day. But, I’m not gonna share it until I get home. So y’all are gonna have to wait haha!

Toluca! Home of the $10 colonoscopy

Need I say more? 
Haha hey everybody. How’s it going? Here in Mexico its the same! It’s kind of crazy but its fun nonetheless!
Jeez, I have absolutely fallen in love with the tacos here. Honestly that’s all I want to eat basically every single day. The tacos in the good ol’ U S of A just dont even come close to the tacos here.
Well, our first meeting with our new investigators fell through, but it’s totally okay! Because Thankfully and by the grace of the lord, we found a new investigator during that time and we were also able to reschedule with our other investigators! Woo! His name Is Esteban and honestly he is such an incredible man I can’t even believe it. He’s 25 and he’s gone through a lot, but honestly I think he’s got it figured out and is completely ready to accept the gospel. Because honestly he’s already found it for himself. I can’t wait to talk more with him!
Anyway, what else? Our ward just sent off a sister missionary this week. It’s really funny for me to think that she’ll actually probably be returning before I will return from my mission. 
This sunday we also ate with one of the newer members of the ward and he had no idea how to tie his ties! So my companion and I spent a couple minutes tying all his ties and trying to teach him how to tie them for himself. That was kind of fun haha.  
This Week we finally got our shower fixed, so no more flooding the entire apartment when we leave!
Finally, we ate with a sister in our ward who is a linguist, and has done a lot of study on languages in her life and she declared me “A walking miracle” because of my ability to speak the language. And honestly it’s true. It has truly been a miracle how fast I have been learning spanish. Thank you all for your prayers and I hope you are all doing well. Write you next week!
Elder Harris

Need I say more? 
Haha hey everybody. How’s it going? Here in Mexico its the same! It’s kind of crazy but its fun nonetheless!
Jeez, I have absolutely fallen in love with the tacos here. Honestly that’s all I want to eat basically every single day. The tacos in the good ol’ U S of A just dont even come close to the tacos here.
Well, our first meeting with our new investigators fell through, but it’s totally okay! Because Thankfully and by the grace of the lord, we found a new investigator during that time and we were also able to reschedule with our other investigators! Woo! His name Is Esteban and honestly he is such an incredible man I can’t even believe it. He’s 25 and he’s gone through a lot, but honestly I think he’s got it figured out and is completely ready to accept the gospel. Because honestly he’s already found it for himself. I can’t wait to talk more with him!
Anyway, what else? Our ward just sent off a sister missionary this week. It’s really funny for me to think that she’ll actually probably be returning before I will return from my mission. 
This sunday we also ate with one of the newer members of the ward and he had no idea how to tie his ties! So my companion and I spent a couple minutes tying all his ties and trying to teach him how to tie them for himself. That was kind of fun haha.  
This Week we finally got our shower fixed, so no more flooding the entire apartment when we leave!
Finally, we ate with a sister in our ward who is a linguist, and has done a lot of study on languages in her life and she declared me “A walking miracle” because of my ability to speak the language. And honestly it’s true. It has truly been a miracle how fast I have been learning spanish. Thank you all for your prayers and I hope you are all doing well. Write you next week!
Elder Harris

Need I say more? 
Haha hey everybody. How’s it going? Here in Mexico its the same! It’s kind of crazy but its fun nonetheless!
Jeez, I have absolutely fallen in love with the tacos here. Honestly that’s all I want to eat basically every single day. The tacos in the good ol’ U S of A just dont even come close to the tacos here.
Well, our first meeting with our new investigators fell through, but it’s totally okay! Because Thankfully and by the grace of the lord, we found a new investigator during that time and we were also able to reschedule with our other investigators! Woo! His name Is Esteban and honestly he is such an incredible man I can’t even believe it. He’s 25 and he’s gone through a lot, but honestly I think he’s got it figured out and is completely ready to accept the gospel. Because honestly he’s already found it for himself. I can’t wait to talk more with him!
Anyway, what else? Our ward just sent off a sister missionary this week. It’s really funny for me to think that she’ll actually probably be returning before I will return from my mission. 
This sunday we also ate with one of the newer members of the ward and he had no idea how to tie his ties! So my companion and I spent a couple minutes tying all his ties and trying to teach him how to tie them for himself. That was kind of fun haha.  
This Week we finally got our shower fixed, so no more flooding the entire apartment when we leave!
Finally, we ate with a sister in our ward who is a linguist, and has done a lot of study on languages in her life and she declared me “A walking miracle” because of my ability to speak the language. And honestly it’s true. It has truly been a miracle how fast I have been learning spanish. Thank you all for your prayers and I hope you are all doing well. Write you next week!
Elder Harris
Need I say more? 
Haha hey everybody. How’s it going? Here in Mexico its the same! It’s kind of crazy but its fun nonetheless!
Jeez, I have absolutely fallen in love with the tacos here. Honestly that’s all I want to eat basically every single day. The tacos in the good ol’ U S of A just dont even come close to the tacos here.
Well, our first meeting with our new investigators fell through, but it’s totally okay! Because Thankfully and by the grace of the lord, we found a new investigator during that time and we were also able to reschedule with our other investigators! Woo! His name Is Esteban and honestly he is such an incredible man I can’t even believe it. He’s 25 and he’s gone through a lot, but honestly I think he’s got it figured out and is completely ready to accept the gospel. Because honestly he’s already found it for himself. I can’t wait to talk more with him!
Anyway, what else? Our ward just sent off a sister missionary this week. It’s really funny for me to think that she’ll actually probably be returning before I will return from my mission. 
This sunday we also ate with one of the newer members of the ward and he had no idea how to tie his ties! So my companion and I spent a couple minutes tying all his ties and trying to teach him how to tie them for himself. That was kind of fun haha.  
This Week we finally got our shower fixed, so no more flooding the entire apartment when we leave!
Finally, we ate with a sister in our ward who is a linguist, and has done a lot of study on languages in her life and she declared me “A walking miracle” because of my ability to speak the language. And honestly it’s true. It has truly been a miracle how fast I have been learning spanish. Thank you all for your prayers and I hope you are all doing well. Write you next week!
Elder Harris
Pictures are of me and some random lady in the steet who wasn’t too interested in our message, but she was really interested in the americano speaking español in the streets! The other pictures are of the newest convert in the ward and my barber, Pepe. He’s deaf so he cant hear anything in the church but he’s still faithful and returns every week for church. Such a great example for all of us honestly. One of the pictures is his attempt at a selfie! haha. ¡Que guapo!

¡Vive America!

Mexico is great and all, but man! I’m a little sad to be missing out on the Fourth of July! It’s all good though!
This week has been interesting, we’ve been busy with some business, I had my first Zone conference and we got ourselves two new investigators. Their names are Daniella and Omar. It’s awesome because honestly in this area the people are really closed off. Every person we talk to its the same, No thank you, I’m catholic. No thank you, I’m Catholic, No thank you, Im Catholic. It’s so frustrating! But we were walking by Omar’s house and I saw that He was triying to put up a little shelter for his dog, and I said to my companion that we ought to help him out and lo and behold, an hour later we had finished dinner with him and his family and they were very interested in our message. Isn’t that great?
This week we also had our first zone conference and I was finally able to meet the mission president! He’s a great guy, I really like him. 
Spanish is really hard, I’m not gonna lie. Some people I can understand almost perfectly, but then some people just have this way of speaking that is just totally not clear! But I am making huge steps forward still. It’s an awesome language and I love having this opportunity to learn it! I still love the people here. The food is incredible!…. Usually. However, I have had to eat one of the worst meals in my entire life here. It was some sort of cauliflower in some sort of soup, I’m honestly not sure what it was but it literally tasted like puke. I marked that house off on my “Do not eat here” list haha.
Anyway! Life is good here in México! I hope everyone is having a great week. I love you all!!
-Elder Harris
PS: ¡Vive México!
Me and my companion with our fresh new haircuts 


 it has been so rainy here! Sometimes the streets are totally flooded and we are treading through 2 feet of water! It’s awesome!